By christinaillenapeake, Feb 25 2019 05:33PM

This January I headed back to Barbados to see family. Always beautiful but this time I really pushed myself when it came to the open water. I love the sea but it also terrifies me. Traveling to Barbados since childhood meant that we were in the sea from baby age and that means there is always that time when you had that bloody scary moment.

I remember once being in the sea with my brother and a freak wave came and crashed over us. I had to try and keep him above water as he couldn't have been older than three or four years old. I was so scared as I was rolled over the sea bed but terrified of losing my brother so kept him above the water, which kept my mind off not being able to breath. Eventually we were washed on the beach although battle couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds but still it never left me.

Surfing was off the table after a few times of being rolled like that and smacked around by the board. Scuba diving I learnt but never enjoyed as I felt suffocated and claustrophobic. But as the years fled by I have fell in love with the sea, reef and just everything underneath but you have to go deeper to see the bigger things and that is terrifying. My dream or goal is to see Great White sharks in the open ocean, preferably from the view of a cage.

Most recently I have fell in love with paddle boarding and from a board is where I was able to film the videos of the reef on the YouTube account. I was so far out and would have to paddle into shore and then the tide and wind would take me out to sea again. I couldn't jump off the board there and snorkel. 40 or 50 feet is too much for me to look down on if I am on my own in the ocean. There would have to be a shit ton of people to be there with me.

I am so proud of these videos and pictures and each time I do it I fall in love with the act just a little more and I get better and more daring. That's amazing and I nuture that because if I nuture it there, then I can nuture it in other parts of my life and for what I plan for my future that daring is critical!

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